What On Gallifrey Is That, Pond?
by Tyler R. Circuit
Summary: - Chapter 6 now here! - I'd just like to thank my very first viewers and fans, as this was purely intended as a one-shot! Now I've had 3,431 views, 12 followers, 10 favourites, and 23 reviews and it's all thanks to you, the Very Firsties. And to newcomers, welcome, and I hope you enjoyed it as my fans did. I don't think I'm finished yet... depends on what you want. *Love you guys!*
1. Chapter 1

**Doctor Who**

**What on Gallifrey is That, Pond?**

The Doctor was in the TARDIS games room.

Amy had insisted that he called it that. The Doctor thought that the "pleasure room" would sound better, but _no_! Apparently, it sounded _perverted_. The Doctor hated the way human minds worked.

He was on the computer, "browsing" the internet. It was a new habit of his. He loved the moment when you finally get to the weird side of the internet. That's why he got Facebook not too long ago.

Today, he_ definitely _reached the weird side of the internet...

? The Doctor clicked on that.

* * *

_TV Shows. Allo, Allo!, Battlestar Galactica, Charlie's Angels, Dick Van Dyke Show, -_ What was that? - _Doctor Who_? They know the question! How could they possibly know the question?

The Doctor clicked on this.

At the top it said, _Sort, Genre, Rated, Language, Length _and _Characters_. The Doctor chose the genre. Hmm... Humor sounded good... Rating. Last is best. The Doctor chose the rating "M". Language, didn't matter. He understood them all. Length. He had time. Five thousand words. and finally, characters. Woah! It had all his incarnations and most of his friends. The Doctor chose the option, "11th Doctor", and another character, "Amelia P./Amy". Search.

_"Amy Pond Gets Her Man". _The Doctor clicked on it, scrolled down halfway, and read.

The Doctor gasped!

'Aaaaaammmyyyyyyyyy!'


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you SO much guys who review, **_**you**_** are the people who spur me on! I wouldn't have made the first part if it wasn't for you! Thanks for your support!**

**Could you please by the way tell me the sorts of FF you like? I write the things**_** I **_**would like to read, but I don't know if it's what**_** you **_**would like to read.**

**Cheers ; D**

Amy jumed down the stairs, eyes wide open, to the Doctor's assistance.

She had just been in her room doing... some things... with Rory, and didn't really want to be disturbed. However, the way the Doctor screamed was like the shriek of a banshee, and she knew it must be something important.

"P-p-p-p-p, Pond!" he stuttered pointing at a point on the screen. Amy bent over and stared at it, squinting. When she finished reading, she smiled. The smile turned to a grin. The grin then turned to cheeky stare. To any human, it would be easy to tell what Amy was thinking. Although, for the Doctor, it was like reading the mind of a rock. Amy reached her hand out for the Doctor's, and gave him a seductive stare. Which again, the Doctor couldn't understand. Still trying, she pouted slightly. He looked at her blankly.

"Bedroom. Me. You. Rory. Time. Now. Go."

The Doctor went upstairs.

It was when Amy stripped he _thought_ he realised what was happening.

"Oh! Of course!" he said. Amy looked pleased. "We're having a bath!"


	3. Chapter 3

Amy Pond stood infront of the Doctor, completely naked.

'Err... yeah. It's bathtime. Hey. Let's play tag. You're it..."

The Doctor sprinted off to Amy and Rory's room, to find Rory, as Amy, completely naked.

"Oh!" the Doctor said, grinning, "you're having a bath too?" Rory stared at the Doctor, covering his... well, you can picture it, can't you?

Amy jumped back into bed with Rory. She watched as the Doctor's grin turned to a frown. "No!" he said, jumping. "I know your plan! I know what you're doing!"

"Finally." Amelia mumbled.

"You're making me fall asleep so you can have a bath all on your own, aren't you?" the Doctor crossed his arms. "I thought you were my friends! Well goodnight! No more saving the Universe for today. I'm off to go and sulk in my room. On the _top bunk_!" he stormed off.

Amy Pond sighed. "Oh well," she tickled Rory.

"So." he cupped his head in his hand. "Where were we?" Just then, Rory pulled out, from under the covers, jumbo sized, Rory pulled from under the covers - the most ENORMOUS cock Amy had ever seen, Oh wait - Sorry- g_ame of Monopoly_ you could get.

"It's a shame the Doctor couldn't play." Amy said. Rory nodded, and they found their previous places on the board.

**That's all, folks. Like I said, please tell me the sorts of FFics you would like!**


	4. Chapter 4

Right-ho, guys! I'm thinking I'll make another chapter of this. Longer than the other three, as Citizenofwhoville123 suggested, with the Doctor and the Master and this time Amy reading it.

Sorry for the waste of chapter but I had to update this so that it would come up again. Didn't want an extra author's note no-one's gonna read.

:) Doctor DW Who

P.S: Hurray to 1,880 views! Woo-hoo!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - Sorry if Miss Issippi **_**is **_**someone's pen-name.**

Amelia logged in to the Doctor's laptop from the year 2105.

His password was "password". _I think he misunderstands internet security,_ thought Amy.

He'd spent an awful lot of time in here last night. It was only right that she cared for him. She'd just view his most recent history. Or five of them... or ten. That was fair, right?

FanFiction, _The Master's Revenge, by Miss Issippi. _'The Master'? What kind of a name was that? Boasty, much?!

_The Doctor was stroking the TARDIS, _Amy read, _when the Master's laugh crept into his head._

_'Oh Master, how I love you so...' the Doctor cried. _

_'I love you too, won't you be my bride?' said the Master. He'd appeared out of nowhere, he does it a lot, -_

Amy could no longer read it. Her stomach was turning already, and the two men hadn't yet done anything. She might like men, but two men together is _not _a good look.

She slowly edged the scroller downward.

_The Master licked the tip of_-

Okay, time to continue scrolling.

_The Doctor slammed into his enemy's ass, making the Master scream 'Screw me fast!'_

So... much... torture!

_The Doctor traced a finger down to his pelvis, where the Manlyhood was standing to attend to the Doctor's rock hard_-

Amy was sick. No, I mean it. Yes, it's true. No Mum, I didn't floss - sorry, wrong story. Literally, she threw up all over the TARDIS floor.

Should she continue to Chapter 2? Oh God, will it make her spew? Oh no, now _she _was talking in rhyme - this is the oldest joke in the book but it still makes you laugh all the time!

Amy had some talking to do with the Doctor. Some_ serious_ talking. The proof was right there infront of her eyes, and she could no longer let herself deny.

The Doctor was addicted to written porn, and - what rhymes with porn?!

Dun, dun, duuuuuuuun!


	6. Chapter 6

'What are you doing, Pond!' the Doctor opened the door to the games room.  
Amy gasped. She had given up reading the Doctor's internet history and began searching through Fanfiction - Rated M's, of course. She was reading a certian fiction in which a blonde called Rose gave someone called the "Tenth Doctor" a head.  
The Doctor screwed his eyes tightly shut and turned away. Amy pulled her trousers back up. 'What the hell do you want?!' she creamed (A/N - that was actually an accident at first as it was meant to say screamed, but it's well fitted with what Amy was just doing).  
The Doctor turned back to face his companion. 'I like that site, too.' He said.  
'I know -' Amy let slip. Damn! Then again, she'd just creamed, how could she blame herself?  
'Rory's just gone to get some chips...' he continued, ignoring Amy.  
Amy grinned. 'Doctor, I've been meaning for you to sign this for a long time... But I've never got the chance.' She rummaged through some papers in the drawer. 'Here - sign this.'  
She passed the Doctor a piece of paper.  
'But what is -?'  
_'Silence...'_ Amy put a finger to his lips. She moved her finger away and covered the writing with her hand so that the Doctor could not read it. She passed him a pen with the other.  
'Amy what is the meaning of -?'  
She grabbed his... bits. It was spur of the moment, but it shut him up. 'Sign it!' she shouted. The Doctor obeyed. 'How long's Rory gonna be gone for?' She was still clinging on to his manlyhood.  
'Abouahhhhh... about half an houuurraahhh...'  
'Good. You've just granted me permission to order you as my slave whenever I want for whatever I want.' she could feel him growing in her hand.  
'But-'  
'No buts! Strip!'  
'What?!'  
'I said strip!' she said, letting go. The Doctor did as she said. She licked around his shaft.  
'Nargh,' he moaned.  
'Now, Slave. Kneel down and strip me bare. And then lick me clean.'  
The Doctor whimpered but did as he was told. After all, a job worth doing is worth doing well, right?


End file.
